Around thirty of the children that The Esther Benjamins Trust is caring for at its refuges in Kathmandu and Bhairahawa in the southwest are the dependents of prisoners. I prefer to call our facilities "refuges" rather than "homes" as, in the ideal, they provide full time care only on a temporary basis. In the case of prisoners' children this is pending their parents' release. It's important to keep tabs on the prisoners as, in spite of what they agree at the time we admit their children, it is common for them to vanish into the ether after they are freed in the expectation that we will continue to care for their offspring. For our part we are proactive in reuniting the children with parents as soon as they have found work and can provide a family home but we give the releasees a little leeway after release to sort themselves out. Moreover we are happy to help with some short term financial support (e.g. for educational costs) to smooth the reunification path. This approach is in the best interests of the children and ensures that our refuge facilities can be extended to other, more needy, children.
Two brothers, Raju and Rajesh, came to us back in 2001 after their father was jailed in Tulsipur prison in the far west of Nepal. They have been staying at our Bhairahawa refuge ever since. Towards the end of last year the father was released and it was easy to see how keen the boys were to go home and resume family life. However, this had to be delayed as he needed to find work. Two days ago one of our field staff went with the older brother, Raju, to trace the father. On arrival in his village it transpired that he had remarried and was building a house. He was not at all keen to take the boys back - prisoners enjoy the prospect of a totally fresh start - and would have been more than happy for us to continue to look after the boys to a standard that's better than he could ever afford. But he will take them back; as I see it if he's sufficiently well off to build a house then his finances are good enough to fend for the children.
One of the disappointing things that I see about the parents that we have to deal with is a lack of responsibility (often fuelled by alcohol abuse) and an unwillingness to take ownership of their children. We have to be careful not to indulge these unhealthy sentiments. But the other thing that gets me is the lack of appreciation. Purely in monetary terms, the cost of daily care for Raju and Rajesh over the years has probably been in the region of £8.5k but dear old dad will never say thanks. Instead he clearly expects more off us. This thanklessness is not unique to him by any means. The word "dhanyabad" ("thank you") is a fairly recent addition to the Nepali language. This grates a bit but then you have to remind yourself that what we do we do for the children, not for the parents.
Shailaja has just phoned me to say that gymnast Aman Tamang, who was one of our two refuge children taking part in the National Games last week, has been named as one of the top nine athletes from the games. This means he has won a purse of 25,000 rupees (£210) which equates to six months' salary at the national minimum wage.
